I remember a time before social media. That time was before sixth grade when I was fat, jolly and careless. It was when I was still high off the magic that you lived off of as a child. I had a Windows 98 computer on which I would play The Sims. I remember aggressively clicking [ “Compliment” “Talk” “Joke” “Tickle” ] (x5) before getting the option to “Hug”, then “Flirt”, then “Kiss”, and then BAM! you had a freaking baby that would pop out of nowhere. As much as I enjoyed that game, I realized it gave me a skewed view on how human interaction (and human conception) actually worked in real life. It’s not that easy to just simply “Compliment” and “Talk” and “Joke” and certainly not “Tickle” someone in real life. I might’ve been able to recover and learn from what The Sims inaccurately taught me about human interaction — but then MySpace happened.

I’m not sure if some of my classmates know what MySpace is because I’m 23 and in classes with a lot of freshmen. Lucky for them, I suppose, because they will never know the stress of not being on a Top 7 Friends List, or the gratification you got from being on the most popular girl in school’s Top Friends list – but only for a week, because it was just the luck of the draw. I would scheme ways to get back on the list, or to get on the lists of her friends, without actually interacting with these people in school. Oh no…that would be too nerve-racking. Never mind that we sat three rows away in the same class and I avoided eye contact with them while simultaneously internally begging for them to take the first step and talk to me. It was easier to contact them on MySpace and to add them as a friend on MSN Messenger. I gave them the satisfaction of increasing their friends list and they gave me the validation I needed.

Yeah, it’s f–ked up how social media emerged when I was in middle school.

Fast forward to now – after multiple MySpace, Facebook, Tumblr, Twitter, LittleMonsters, and God knows what other social media accounts – I primarily use Instagram, Snapchat, and Twitter. I use these accounts for personal use. I do have a “professional” Instagram account, a fashion blog, that I used for two days and never logged back onto. Other than that pitiful account I don’t have much experience using a professional social media account. Ideally I would like the make the transition from personal to professional social media use for many reasons, some of those being:

• Social media for personal use can be so toxic
• I’m 23 and I feel like my obsessive use of social media might make me look like a grandpa on these apps
• Seeing minors on my Twitter feed and me relating to them and their memes makes me feel weird – like, really weird

I think the concept of social media is brilliant: at any time of any day you have the access to reach out to anyone you want (as long as they follow you/have the desire to be reached out by you). Information spreads at lightspeed on the internet and especially on social media websites like Twitter. Because of Facebook I’m able to keep up with my one year old niece in Texas and I’m able to watch her grow. I have access to the world’s most premium memes on Twitter which gives me entertainment for hours.

However, there are negative implications of social media. My middle school experience, for example, was based heavily on validation from my peers not only in person but online — and I was the first generation to experience that. I can only imagine how messed up it is now with middle schoolers owning iPhone 11s and subtweeting about each other on Twitter, or how Taylor feels left out after seeing her BFF Sarah’s Snap story of her at Jessica’s birthday party that Taylor wasn’t invited to. And then past the woes of middle school comes real world problems — like politics. We have world leaders using Twitter as a weapon against large masses of people, stirring up controversy for entertainment in hopes to divert attention from one issue to another. It’s mass manipulation at its worst.

I wish the world was as simple as The Sims and I could just “Compliment” and “Talk” my way to best friends. And I wish social media wasn’t what it is today. I can only hope that people learn from what we’ve seen in the beginning stages of social media and that we as a society become vigilant and responsible using these powerful tools.

I think I’m going to go ahead and log back into my fashion Insta. BRB.